Lisa's Musings

Free Will

C.S. Lewis talks about the free will issue a lot in Mere Christianity.  Frequently we disagree with God and, since we can't see the big picture, only the pieces that surround our own little piece of the puzzle, we (at least I!) ponder the "whys".  But Lewis says that since God is the source from all our reasoning powers come, we could not be right and He wrong any more than a stream can rise higher than its own source- in fact it's like cutting off the branch you are sitting on.  Therefore, if God "thinks this state of war in the universe a price worth paying for free will, then we may take it is worth paying."

There's another angle to this.  Frequently we feel guilty for "not having done enough".  We see someone we care about making mistakes or having hard times, we try to help but they falter anyway, and we blame ourselves.  Of course we have to examine our actions and motives.  Were we acting as enablers or behaving condescendingly, or being judgmental or critical?  But let's assume that we were none of those things, that we responded solely from a caring heart and a desire to bear another's burdens and that our help was rejected, ignored, or didn't do the trick.

In "Walking on Water", Madeleine L'Engle related an experience where she was full of guilt for not having done enough for a loved one.  She blamed herself so badly that she went to talk to a spiritual advisor about it.  If you've read any of her Austin family novels you might be surprised to learn, as I did, that Canon Tallis is a real person!  I love his response to her.

"Who are you to think you are better than our Lord?  After all, he was singularly unsuccessful with a great many people."

This really gave me pause.  Think about it- Jesus did all that was required, and still is rejected.  He came to rescue us with the purest motives and the purest love.  He didn't nag, he called sin sin but he made it clear that the sinners were dearly loved, precious and valued in spite of it.  If that is rejected by some, why should we beat ourselves up with guilt when we are rejected?

And think about this- knowing that his Son would be rejected, God still chose to give us free will.  It was that important to him that the love and obedience that we DID give to him would be genuine and would be our choice.  Honestly, when you think of all that God did- he knows we are bent to self-destruction, war and hatred, yet he gave us the choice to come to him independently and considered the risks worthwhile.  And consider this too- he knew just how much would be lost when he made the choice.  Grace is indeed amazing, and so is free will.   

I Just Like This...

A simple wish that's anything but simple.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xn7uSHtkuA

A Different Look at Christmas

My Christmas shopping is almost done, the Christmas program is over, my son finishes semester exams on Thursday, my mom is home from the hospital, my brother and sister in law are coming home on Christmas Eve.  It's been a hectic time these last few weeks and I'm looking forward to the quiet, peaceful time to come on Christmas when the work is done and my family is all together. But this extraordinarily busy and troubled time preceding Christmas this year is giving me a different perspective of Christmas to ponder.  Because despite the tranquility surrounding the nativity scene in most of our homes, Bethlehem was anything but tranquil on the night of Christs birth.  A crowded little town called Bethlehem was not lying still in a deep and dreamless sleep while silent stars went by.  It was full of visitors pulled away from their homes for a census demanded by a dictatorial Roman government.  The Savior was born in a barn that was no doubt cold and dirty- not the most sterile of places for a woman to give birth.  And let's not forget that Mary had endured a difficult journey riding on a donkey and anticipating the birth of her child at any moment.  Perhaps she thought that better than the derision she had endured back in Nazareth.  She did have a kind husband who had responded to the angel God had sent- after 400 years of silence from God I'm sure that the sight of an angel would have a tremendous effect on those people to whom they were sent.

It surely had an effect on the shepherds on the hillside that the angels appeared to.  If there was ever a sign from God that Jesus came to save all of us, surely this was that sign.  Shepherds were dirty, considered uncouth and the lowest of the low.  Yet it was they that the angels appeared to.  Who needs hope the most but these to whom life had been especially hard?  These who had not been blessed with possessions or social status?  The church today needs to pay heed - we are not doing for these as God would have us do. 

What about the wise men?  They saw the star on this night and began their long journey towards the Christ Child.  It's been estimated that it took them 2 years to reach him.  These men came bearing gifts- gifts that herald the atonement.  Sacrifice?  How many of us would be willing to do the same if God had gifted us as He had these men?  Are we willing to go on mission trips instead of vacations? Jesus said that whatever we do for the least of these, it is as unto Him.  Perhaps we should consider that we ourselves are among "the least of these", for the ground is level at the cross.

In the meantime, what we ourselves today desire of Christmas is a time of tranquility to share with family and friends.  I myself approach Christmas this year with high anticipation of just that.  God knows us well, He knows that we need to observe a Christmastime to draw us towards the Light.  What I'm pondering this year- in the midst of hustle and bustle, uncertainty, fears, and a general state of exhaustion- is the fact that I may not be as far off the mark of having "the perfect Christmas" as one might think.  Why?  Because God sent into this crazy, hectic, sinful and lost world of ours a Savior.  One who causes all of our mess to somehow work together for good for those who love Him and are called by Him.  One who came to die for us and save us. 

I personally believe that the reason we desire this tranquil Christmas is simply that it gives us a glimpse of the glory that God provided for us by sending Jesus to us.  Everything of beauty in this world is a view in the glass darkly- all these things that we desire so badly- security, health, prosperity, love, joy, peace...Christmas is a glimpse of eternity with God- seeing Him face to face.

My prayer for all of you is that this Christmas provides you with that glimpse of Glory.  Seek the Christ as the wise men did.

On Optimism

Don't you love it when you read exactly what you needed to hear?  A word of encouragement- a "keep-on-keeping-on" thought?

Well, I read this today from Bonhoeffer.  He wrote this while in Nazi prison.

"The essence of optimism is not its view of the present, but the fact that it is in the inspiration of life and hope when others give in; it enables people to hold their heads high when everything seems to be going wrong; it gives them strength to sustain reverses and yet to claim the future for themselves instead of abandoning it to their opponents.  It is true that there is a silly, cowardly kind of optimism, which we must condemn.  But the optimism that is will for the future should never be despised, even if it is proven wrong a hundred times; it is health and vitality, and the sick person has no business to impugn it.  There are people who regard it as frivolous, and some Christians think it impious for anyone to hope and prepare for a better earthly future.  They think that the meaning of present events is chaos, disorder, and catastrophe; and in resignation or pious escapism they surrender all responsibility for reconstruction and for future generations.  It may be that the day of judgment will dawn tomorrow; and in that case, though not before, we shall gladly stop working for a better future."

(from Letters and Papers from Prison 16)

Boundaries and Belonging

Mark 9:40 says, "Whoever is not against us is for us".  Matthew 12:30 says, "Whoever is not for me is against me".  Confusing?  Mark 9:40 is a bit more all-encompassing than some of we Christians might like.  But Jesus doesn't stop them as we Pharisees would probably like to do.  When the name of Jesus is spoken (not as a curse, that would definitely fall under the against category) even in ignorance, or recognizing it objectively even if not personally, it honors Christ in that there is a recognition of his authority.

On the other hand, neutrality among Christians is the gravest danger the church faces- and it's been that way from the church's beginning.  So the church adopted the "Whoever is not for me is against me" slogan and concentrated on it.  But by demanding this unequivocal confession from it's members, the church gained an inner freedom and openness.  It provided community and protection.  Those who had been wounded or treated injustly sought refuge in Jesus Christ. 

And so, one statement does not conflict with the other, but instead defines it.  And just in case you were thinking that my meager brain is really thinking philosophically here, Bonhoeffer's Ethics gets the credit for making my mind muse on this "contradictionless contradiction".

Better Questions

Todd Agnew has a new album out, "Better Questions", and although I haven't yet listened to all of it, there's one song in particular that I love.  It's a "pop blues" kind of piece, and since I love the blues, I love the bluesy touch he's put into it.  But the lyric is even better.  It seems to encompass why the blues touch my heart- it's a lamentation of someone who is broken and crying out to God.  This song is about honesty before God and how Jesus would respond to the iterant bluesman and the "happy plastic people" that flood our churches every Sunday morning.  Does Jesus value the lamentations of the broken less than the empty worship he hears from many each Sunday? 

Here' s the lyric:

On A Corner In Memphis

Saturday on Beale St. with the drunk and the searching
I hear an old man playing guitar
I can’t make out what he’s saying
But I can tell you that he’s suffered
And that he means every word from the bottom
Of what’s left of his heart… tonight

A few hours later, I slip into church
Singing songs about saving grace
One guy’s nodding off and another hates to be here
And we all mouth the words to save face
It’s 11:15 on Sunday morning
And I wish I was

On a corner in Memphis listening to the old man
Singing out his sorrows and laying down his pride
He’s telling me his story or at least his side
With no need to pretend and nowhere to hide

‘Cause we are all broken here
We’re are all ashamed
I couldn’t fool you if I wanted to
Our stories are too much the same

And what about this Jesus?
They say He drank with the poor and the blind and the lame
Do you think He’d like the songs that we sing?
Or would He feel the same as I do?
What if Sunday School was on Saturday night?

What if their heart-breaking cries of pain
Are the first hymns of tomorrow’s saints?

On a corner in Memphis, we’re singing with the old man
Crying for his sorrows and laying down our pride
He’s telling us our story, or at least his side
With no need to pretend and nowhere to hide

On a corner in Memphis
We’re singing out our sorrows
He’s telling us his story
With no need to pretend and nowhere to hide
On a corner in Memphis

-Todd Agnew, from the album "Better Questions"

Forgiveness

One of Christianity's big issues- how do we, who have been forgiven beyond all reckoning, forgive others?  Especially when it appears that one who has done me wrong has it better than I do. 

I tell myself that forgiveness isn't fair.  If it was, we would all be headed straight to hell, right?  Including myself.  So I'm glad that forgiveness isn't fair, at least as it pertains to me.  But what about the one who wronged me?  Do I want that person to suffer for what they did?  Yes, I must admit that I do!

I think this is where the rubber hits the road for that "love your neighbor as yourself" requirement.  I'm commanded to want forgiveness for the one who wronged me as much as I want it for myself.  Ouch.  I'm a long way from that- and I certainly can't do it without God's help. 

C.S. Lewis suggests that we start small.  Practice forgiveness on the little things and eventually we'll build up to the big ones.  In his words, "perhaps we had better start with something easier than the Gestapo".  I guess like anything else in our Christian lives, it's a process.  Maybe by the time I see Jesus I'll have mastered this one a little better.

Christmas

It seems ridiculous to start thinking about Christmas in July, doesn't it.  Yet I've already submitted a purchase order for our church's Christmas program expenses.  Some stores are already beginning to display their Christmas merchandise.  I'm already pondering about what my Christmas gifts will be this year- both what I should request and more strategically, what I should give.  Yesterday I watched a DVD of another church's Christmas presentation from last year, in gathering new ideas for this year's program at our own church.

Perhaps it's because I love Christmas so that I don't mind so much.  Part of me still wants to believe in Santa Claus- the part of me that is still devastated that the world is such a hard, lonely place.  Merciless- time keeps ticking on and life's ever increasing demands and my responsibilies overwhelm me as I grow another year older.  People are cruel and our cultures self-absorption and selfishness make me long for something that is pure, unsullied and substantial- permanent and unchanging with the tide.  Something that is REAL. 

Every year, in the middle of the busy preparations for a lot of bright lights, colored paper and pagentry surrounding a quiet night, in spite of it all I get a glimpse of REAL.  As special as it is, REAL is not the look of excitement in my son's eyes as he receives the gift that he wanted.  As meaningful as it is, REAL is not the huge pageant and activities at the church.  As fun as it is, REAL is not all of my pretty decorations.

REAL is not only the Baby in the manger, but that also that baby grew to be a man.  He exposed man's religious trappings as something on which we shouldn't hang our hats.  He taught us to love the Lord our God and to love our neighbor as ourselves.  He taught us that mercy was more important than keeping the letter of the law.  Over 2000 years later we still haven't learned those lessons- and that's why he did the most important thing.  He became sin and paid the penalty for us.

We really are like sheep.  We may or may not have good intentions, but we've still gone astray.  We've turned every one unto our own ways- and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.  And yet- knowing all this, He still chose to come.   I'm so valuable to the Creator of the Universe that He left it all to come and die for me.  I've never been able to wrap my mind around that but it is the one thing that is REAL- it is the one thing that I have to hold to with confidence.  I'm left with my feeble and imperfect expressions of gratitude and worship to give Him- that I try to be what He wants knowing all the while that I'll inevitably goof it up-yet He forgives me every time.

Our merciless, hard, abrasive world can't understand that kind of love.  It turns its back on it and mocks it.  Our legalism and feelings of superiority towards a world full of imperfect sinners brings one to mind of the culture into which Jesus came.  Some things haven't changed.  But He came to save us in spite of ourselves, and in spite of knowing that his message would be distorted by many and that many would use their distortions to further their own ends.  He still came.

He still came.

What's Really Important

I haven't had any time to post lately- and it's because of 2 Big Rocks - our church's recent patriotic celebration (huge production!) and now, Vacation Bible School.

We took a different approach and made a serious investment in VBS this year.  We ran mini sports camps with hour long Bible study- and it's been a huge success.  The last enrollment # I heard was over 1400, and I'm sure it's increased tremendously since then. 

Other than Sunday School and Worship, I don't think that there is anything we do that is more important than VBS- how many churched and unchurched kids and their families are reached and have life-changing experiences at VBS-and how many choose to give their lives to Jesus!  This was the first year that my son was too old to be a student- but he's working with preschoolers.  We're both exhausted physically but emotionally and spiritually- what a high! 

Tonight is the last night- and while I look forward to rest, I hate for this wonderful experience to end.  Every year VBS blesses me, but this year we've really seen God do abundantly more than we could ever ask or imagine.

Giftedness

Do you remember the movie "Amadeus"?  It made a profound impression on me.  Mozart is one of my favorite composers- one of those whose music brings me to God.  He may not have been as ridiculously obscene as portrayed in the movie, but I know he didn't have the reverence for God that Bach did, yet Mozart moves me more.  That's not the case for everyone, but it is for me.  So I have to ask myself why?  Perhaps it was because Mozart seems more human to me.  Bach was so technically perfect that oftentimes I hear the precision more than the heart.

The movie wasn't really about Mozart, though, it was about Antonio Salieri.  The rivalry between them is really more of a romantic fable than based on truth.  The rumor that he poisoned Mozart and confessed to the murder on his deathbed has no basis in fact, but it makes an interesting story!

In the movie, Salieri is portrayed as a devout man who offers his life to God and desires to give him glory through his music.  He receives a lot of human recognition for his work.  But then along comes this crude, earthy, irreverent upstart, Mozart.  Mozart's genius is not so recognized by the court, but Salieri sees in his music what he himself has wanted to give to the God he loves.  He becomes insanely jealous of Mozart and vows to destroy "God's instrument".

Back to my theory that all "true art" regards man's search for God.  If you look at it, the best of all art truly depicts this.  Even my favorite rock music has this as it's basis.  I can listen to "Pet Sounds" or the Beatles and recognize the search.  It's obvious to me that the artist is pursuing God!  Some of them find Him, but most may not be looking in the right place.  Maybe they are so jaded by the institutionalized church that they no longer feel that the answer can be found there.  But they have been given the desire to find Him.  They've been given a gift that allows them to express how important this search is to them, that it is the essence of their humanity.  It points me to God, regardless of whether their search was successful in their own lives or not.  This is true for me in music, art and literature.

Madeline L'Engle says in "Walking on Water" that "a sad fact which nevertheless needs to be faced is that a deeply committed Christian who wants to write stories or paint pictures or compose music to the glory of God simply may not have been given the talent, the gift, which a non-Christian, or even an atheist, may have in abundance.  God is no respecter of persons, and this something we are reluctant to face...Often we forget that he has a special gift for each one of us, because we tend to weigh and measure such gifts with the coin of the world's marketplace."

In "Amadeus", Salieri may have thought that God was mocking his offering by giving the gift he desired to "give to God" to a course man like Mozart, but the truth was that God had gifted him differently than He had Mozart, that Salieri had his own gifts and rejected them.  The truth was that he was envious of someone else's gift, thought them undeserving, and in his selfishness did not recognize that it was God's gift to give to whomever he pleased. 

We all know that Mozart died tragically, still a young man, impoverished to the point that he was buried in a pauper's grave with no marker.  God did not bless him with worldly recompense while he was here on earth.  It was only after his death that his genius became appreciated.  Hundreds of years after his death his music still points people to God.

"But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves"    2 Corinthians 4:7